Hello! I am the famous Princess Mike...! You know me from my travels around the world. I love to travel. But you know what else I love to do? GO CAMPING! Yes, it's true, every summer, I like to spend several weeks away at Girl Scout camp with my friends and my most favorite counselor ever, Sarah, but we call her Fluke. Anyway, you might ask what we do at camp. Well, the answer to that question is kind of obvious. We bake cookies to sell later in the year, work on our badges, and, oh yes, we sing songs to DANCE to...!

The cookies are my favorite part of camp. Now that I am an older Girl Scout, I don't have to spent the 10 hours a day in the kitchen that the Daisy and Brownie scouts do. Instead, I get to be on the taste testing committee, where we try a cookie from each batch to make sure the little kids aren't slacking off. You would be surprised at what those kids would get away with if we didn't have good quality assurance procedures in place. You would think they thought camp was all about fun. Well it's not, it's about social fucking responsibility, and that means baking some goddamn cookies! I love all the Girl Scout cookies, except the Short Bread cookies. Those are for old people. But Girl Scouts even likes old people, so we make the shortbreads every year. Even if no one really eats them.

After baking cookies, we gather around a camp fire, our blood sugar levels through the roof, and our livers struggling to process all of the refined sugars we have ingested. And we sing. My favorite song is playing right now. It is a love song about a beautiful girl and a bumble bee. Dance with me!